Sunday, March 28, 2021

Pragmatic Marriage, Glasses Shame, Fashion Plan


So far in Stardew Valley, I have married the town doctor and the town writer, and now in my latest go-around, I’ve decided to get more practical and marry someone with a strong back. So I’m going after Alex, the town jock. I need a sturdy partner to help with the farm labor, and Alex lifts weights religiously. He’s cute for a pixelated ‘toon, but he has a dark past and he veers wildly between lechery and negging. So far he’s asked me if I own a bikini and suggested that we hang out on the beach, then shortly after accused me of having dirty shoes. Nonetheless, I bring him his favorite item regularly, a “Complete Breakfast” or lacking that, an egg. He needs his protein if he’s going be of any use to me on Flowing River Farm. Despite his lack of emotional maturity, I have high hopes for this one. He really goes after those weights and he’s going to be able to bale a lot of hay.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve griped about my seasonal allergies on this blog, so here I go: My seasonal allergies are kicking in again big-time. Sometimes they manifest in violent sneezing, but this season they are mostly affecting my eyes. I wake up with puffy, itchy red eyelids and have periodic bouts of burning eyeballs during which the temptation to rub them is overwhelming. It was so bad a few days ago that I couldn’t put my contact lenses in and I had to wear my glasses to work, which is a blow to my vanity. I’ve always been very self-conscious about wearing glasses, although I know glasses have been a hip, fashion-statementy thing for a while now. Wearing glasses takes me straight back to my childhood when glasses were decidedly not hip and frames were aggressively ugly. However, I was pleasantly surprised to get several compliments from my co-workers on how they looked nice on me. I don’t think any of them had ever seen me in glasses before due to my deep glasses-shame, and not only did no one recoil in horror, they were quite positive about them. Perhaps this shall open up a new era of more frequent glasses-wearing for me. (Perhaps.)

Along fashion lines, I have been too overwhelmed to revisit Project Wardrobe Upgrade. I’ve given up on the bots and the box services and the “personal stylists” and the quizzes. I have decided the only way to manage this is with a meted-out, methodical approach, a systematic building up, if you will, rather than a mad explosion of fifty new pieces at once. I ordered three items from Amazon this weekend in a brand that I know fits me decently. These three items constitute one full outfit. If they work out, I’m going to order three more such items next weekend, in different colors and patterns. I shall continue on in that vein until the day in which my old clothing has been completely replaced with the new and I no longer feel sartorial inferiority. That’s the only way I’m going to be able to deal with this--one outfit at a time, no dressing rooms and tearful clutching of handfuls of cheap pants and blouses at the big box stores. I think it’s a pretty good plan. I will keep you posted.

When I was looking for a video to post this week, I came across this adorable woman who goes by Saint Ruto, who put together this delightful video ranking all of the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes in Stardew Valley. I love this video because she’s so passionate about the game, and we are super-sympatico about our love for Stardew Valley. I don’t totally agree with her rankings, but she put a lot of thought into them and I really enjoyed hearing her take. And I must know where she got that sword!

 --Kristen McHenry

1 comment: said...

It rocks, Kristen, as it usually does!