Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ten Things People Feel Perfectly Free to Say to Me about My Non-Childed Status:

Ten Things People Feel Perfectly Free to Say to Me about My Non-Childed Status:

But what do you do in all of your spare time?

Personally, I just wouldn’t feel whole as a woman if I hadn’t experienced childbirth. 

I know you think you're getting away with it now, but did you ever consider the fact that you’ll be old and alone?

I'm not trying to tell you what to do--I just think it’s sad that you’re never going to know real love.

But what holds your marriage together if you don’t have kids?

I didn’t want kids either, until I met the man I truly loved. 

But without the demands of kids, how are you going to learn how not to be selfish?

Fortunately, most of society does the right thing and contributes to the tax base by having children. 

What’s the point of even having a home, if you don’t have little ones to fill it with?

But if you don’t have kids, what’s going to make you care about your community or the future of the world?

--Kristen McHenry


Dana said...

If you don't want to have kids, you have no business being married. The institution of marriage exists solely for the purpose of producing offspring.

(That was said to me by a co-worker at a publishing company I worked at years ago -- in the state of Kansas, which probably comes as no surprise.)

Kristen McHenry said...

Yep, I've heard that one, too. Gee, it's almost as though some people are so shortsighted, unimaginative and lazy they can't figure out how to create a loving marriage, be a generous and caring person, and lead a meaningful life without be forced into it through child rearing.Hmm.

Dale said...


Personally, I feel like having kids was pretty self-indulgent. I really wanted them, but I know that no other decision in my life is likely to have worse ecological repercussions, and anyway I can hardly feel smug about the world I've pitched them into.

As for being complete -- who's ever complete? Anyone who feels "completed" by having children is probably emotionally eating them.

Kristen McHenry said...

"Anyone who feels 'completed' by having children is probably emotionally eating them." Dale, this made me laugh and cringe and say "wow!" at the same time :).

I think that any decision we make around kids is inevitably selfish or self-serving to some degree--whether we decide to have them or not have them. Having kids or not having kids has nothing to do with whether or not you're selfish. I appreciate you being willing to outright say that you wanted them, and so you had them. This is just one of those weeks where I am fed up with people who feel ambivalent about their choice to have them and therefore want to project the judgement of "selfishness" on to those of who decided against it.

Jo-Ann said...

Ohhhh, this explains why I am an unloved, selfish and boring sloth living on the hard working mores of others. Huh... never knew.

Please thank them for me, Kristen, for their astute insights.

Kristen McHenry said...

You're welcome, Jo-Ann--even if you are a godless, childless, selfish heathen.

Dick said...

Such a choice little collection of cliches here, Kristen. You know an awful lot of pisspot sages! Did they volunteer these witless little saws or did they just crop up in conversation?