Sunday, November 3, 2019

Petty Complaints Sunday

Among the list of things bothering me this week are bad health teas, dry hair, writing insecurities, and as always, Youtube, which I am compelled by law to watch obsessively. I shall expound:

Mr. Typist has taken to a certain type of tea, and he recently ordered an entire case of it directly from the company. He urged me to go to their website and look at their products because he thought I would get excited about all of their teas. I used to get excited about teas, but I don’t anymore. Over the last few years, I’ve completely lost my taste for most teas. They all taste strange to me now and the only kind I still like is peppermint and good old-fashioned Lipton. But I have been curious about Chaga, which is a mushroom drink that’s become quite trendy of late. I found some Chaga tea on their website, but the description really turned me off. They literally decided that the selling point of this Chaga tea is that it tastes like a tree:

“Brewing tea from a substance that grows on the side of a tree results in an earthy flavor profile. Imagine yourself sitting under a birch tree, the warmth of the sun gently kissing your skin. You can smell the moist earth underneath, as the quiet of the forest envelops you in peaceful bliss.”

Yuck. I’m quite fond of trees, but I’d rather not drink something that tastes like it was steeped in bark. And, and as turns out, Chaga tea tastes like nothing but warm water. Even after I steeped it for a full fifteen minutes, it could barely muster up the flavor of warm, brown water. All in all, very disappointing.

My hair is dry. Really, really dry. Crackling, static-electricity dry. Like, dry to the point that I didn’t wash it for five days because I was afraid it would fall out. I use a coconut shampoo and coconut leave-in conditioner, and a shockingly expensive oil from Habitude, but my hair is still absurdly dry. I can’t even brush it without it getting all crazy and fly-away. I hope that it’s just due to this severe cold snap we’re having in Seattle and that it’s not a permanent condition. Otherwise, I’m going to chop it all off and go with a pixie cut again, which I sported for many years with varying success.

I’ve agreed to read some of my work at a poetry reading coming up at end of the month, and I really want to have some fresh material written for it, but my poem confidence is lacking. I don’t like it when emotionally fragile poets like me whine about their writing insecurities, but here I go: I’m not sure about my work. As I mentioned on this blog some months ago, I’m writing about the body again, but in a way that’s different from my previous work. I’ve become very interested in physical strength and power, in what the body can do rather than what is done to it. I’m worried that my writing lacks clarity. My latest poem is about the back muscles, but it might be nonsensical to anyone but me. I suppose time and the poetry reading will tell.

This isn’t really a complaint, but I finally figured out why all of those aforementioned fitness expert/bodybuilder guys on Youtube are so angry all of the time. It’s not testosterone. It’s hunger. They are very hungry indeed, and as a result they are filled with resentment and rage at non-gym people, who they fantasize are stuffing their faces with whole pans of lasagna and drinking red wine at 10:00 a.m. (which sounds marvelous, actually.) I don’t know who these straw gluttons are that these Youtube bodybuilders are raging about. Most non-athletic, normal workaday people I know simply eat a meal of reasonable nutritional and caloric content when they are hungry, then move on with their lives. But in the minds of Youtube body builders, the world is of full of two types of people-hyper disciplined athletes, or monstrous gluttons who are constantly cramming their faces with jalapeno poppers and deep dish pizza and laughing at them. I’d be pretty angry if I thought that, too.

Since strong backs are on my mind, here’s a old, sweet song from Natalie Merchant. I love the lyric, “My back is sturdy and strong.” Enjoy!


Dale said...

That poem about the lats was one of the best poems I have ever read. "In strength, pull / earthward every blessing."

Anyway, it's not your job to judge the poems. You just write them. We'll do the rest. said...

Kristen, you have many, many, many, many, many, many, many great poems! 👏