In Defense of Competence, Gory Gaming, Big Citrus

Because having a work ethic is now considered passé, it’s become an ubiquitous past-time in this culture to complain endlessly about work: The emptiness of it, the bullsh*t from corporate, the bane that is co-workers, the indignity of mundane tasks, and the lack of vacation time Americans take as compared to the rest of the world. But the most copious griping seems to revolve around work that involves serving others. I recently read an article online bemoaning the state of affairs for administrative assistants. The main crux of it seemed to be that that sort of work is inherently demeaning, humiliating and sexist against women. The article was one long dirge about the supposedly terrible history of women as servile secretaries, performing degrading labor on behalf of their clueless, boorish, incompetent bosses and “doing work executives don’t want to do”—which is, by the way, the entire point of having an admin assistant. There was no acknowledgement that this sort of work actually has value, or that it can be done with great competency, or that a good admins are worth their weight in gold and are infinitely employable. Nope. According to the author, if you’re in that role, you’re not a professional, you’re just a flunky who’s being used, and you have no autonomy or power. I find this extremely insulting to admins.

 In America, even though most of our jobs are in the service sector, we still seem to have a collective disdain for work that involves serving others, especially if that service utilizes traditionally female characteristics such as high-level organizational abilities, virtuoso communication skills, and attunement to the needs of others. I’ve only worked as an administrative assistant briefly myself, (I was not a very good one), but I worked with plenty of them, and competent ones are invaluable and usually some of the smartest people in any organization. It is not demeaning work. It is serious, dignified, critical work that deserves a great deal of respect. It’s not “sexist” just because it’s been mostly been performed by women. It’s a field that has given a lot of women thriving, challenging and interesting careers. I ask that we stop bemoaning it and start viewing it with the appreciation it deserves. And while we’re at it, let’s all strive to complain a little less and take some pride in a job well done. Most of us are at work for eight hours a day. Why not make our time worth it and be competent, even if it’s only for our own benefit?

Speaking of a work ethic, on a mission for distraction, I recently downloaded an utterly ridiculous game called “Viscera Cleanup Detail.” It’s based on an insane concept that shouldn’t work, but somehow does. You play a janitor whose job it is to clean up after some truly heinous industrial “accidents”, usually involving nuclear waste leakage, robots run amok, or bio-engineered plant life that turned on its makers. I find the extreme gore by turns off-putting and hilarious, but it’s the repetitive minutia that really sells the game for me. Each level is a very large map, covered in a very large amount of grisly refuse, and you must clean up every single shell casing, every inch of exploded intestine, and every microscopic stain in order to score 100% and get the coveted Employee of the Month award. So far, I’ve been fired twice and demoted twice, so I’m doing pretty good. But I’m not really playing the game for a high score. It’s basically hysterical replacement activity: I may not be able to control current events in my own life, but gosh darnit, I can mop up pixelated nuclear waste until those floors gleam.

One final office-related story from the week: I get placed on weird and inappropriate mailing lists at work, so I often receive junk mail offers for alarming products. One came this week with a piece of cardboard wrapped tightly in clear cellophane, urging me to “OPEN AND TAKE A WHIFF…of the most effective odor eliminator…ever!” I knew with every fiber of my being that this was a bad idea, but that didn’t stop me from immediately OPENING IT AND TAKING A WHIFF. Truth in advertising: It was so effective that instantly, my entire office smelled like an orange creamsicle factory had exploded. And then I really wanted an orange creamsicle. Maybe they’re in on it with Big Citrus. In any case, it’s good to know there are people out there who still take pride in their work.

--Kristen McHenry