I watch a lot of re-runs, (is that even a term
anymore?) and I recently saw an episode of “Modern Family” from 2013 wherein
Alex receives the final gift of a lighter from her dear departed grandmother.
She agonizes over the “meaning” of the gift, since the other family member’s
presents come with deep and clear significance. Alex’s family chalks it up to
her grandmother’s senility, but I knew immediately what it meant. It meant that
mousy, rule-following Alex needed to light some shit on fire. And she does. I
also recently heard a story on the TBTL podcast about a Canadian woman who was
mushroom hunting and got trapped in the woods and stalked by a vicious wolf, who she
cleverly finished off by luring it to a bear. There is something about both of
these stories that I find very compelling. Wolves and lighters. I don’t plan to
off any wolves or commit an act of arson, but perhaps there is something wild
in me longing to escape. I just don’t know what to do about it at the moment,
since my present life feels relentlessly restricted and proscribed.
Speaking of wolves, it was an interesting
epiphany to find that self-induced pressure to produce is incredibly unhelpful
in the creative process, at least for me. I intended to write “The Diary of
Wolfpine Glen” as a weekly series, confidently certain that if I “forced”
myself to produce each week, my creativity would somehow fire on all cylinders,
the story would flow out of me freely, and confusion, blockage and thorny plot
issues would magically resolve through the sheer power of will. What actually happened
was that I was beset with tension headaches and anxiety as the weekend
approached, and I began to resent the creative process entirely, It felt like
going to a second job, and all of the fun and joy just whooshed out of it like a
popped balloon. I have found that what I need is time—time to think it through, concentrate on developing the characters, and map out the plot
in a more systematic way. “Wolfpine Glen” is growing in my imagination and will
come back at some point, but I need time to refine it and play with it a lot
more. I wouldn’t call the experiment a failure, though. It helped me jump-start the project, and taught me that for me, time and space are
essential to the creative process.
But I may take a little break from “Wolfpine Glen”
to write a short story about a grammar- pendant health nut with a blow-dry. I
got the idea from reading this hilarious blog post by Frank Moraes, about a recent
run-in with such a fellow at Whole Foods. I think blow-dry health-nut guy
would make a delightful character. He is rich with possibility.
Other miscellaneous updates: The stinky dresser
is less stinky now, thank God. It still has a slight lingering odor, but it’s
fading by the day. I sent out two novel queries yesterday, and just as I hit “send”
on the second one, I received a terse rejection from an agent I had queried last
month, thereby completely deflating whatever manufactured confidence I had
managed to pump myself up with. Buddy’s being Buddy, although there have been
no more off-deck adventures since the last escapade. And I finally finished playing
through “The Rise of the Tomb Raider”. The end-game boss fight was exceedingly
disappointing and lame, but overall, it was a solid game with a good storyline.
I have to go buy new walking shoes, so that’s it
for this week. Enjoy this song by Henry Phillips about a deathly Waffle Shack.
It always makes me laugh, because I have a very mature, sophisticated and
erudite sense of humor. (Warning: It
contains a few swears.)
--Kristen McHenry
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