Fashion Outsourcing, Reality Ruminating, I Did Yoga

A good thing happened for me last week in a rather shocking and whip-lashy manner, and because the dust is still settling, I’m not going to go into detail about it here. But there’s been a change at work and the gist of it is, I need to upgrade my wardrobe. Like an actual upgrade this time, not just doing a little “refresh” by picking up a few sale blouses from the wash-and-wear rack at Target. I have always been bad at wardrobes but I’ve kind of gotten away with it because I’ve mostly worked for non-profits and healthcare, where style isn’t a big priority. You add to that this last year of COVID, masking, and rarely seeing anyone in person, and I have become even more indifferent to my day-to-day look than I was before. In fact, before supplies became an issue, I was plotting a path to wearing scrubs every day. But no more with the shabby-adjacent for me. I need to legit pull it together.

By this time in life, I know myself well enough to realize that this wardrobe operation is going to have to be outsourced. So I got online this weekend and looked at Stitchfix and various other “personal stylist” websites before finally settling on Amazon Wardrobe (or some such, I can’t remember the exact name.) They are fast and I think the majority of their “personalized wardrobe picks” are chosen by bots, which is fine by me. All of this research required me having to take a bunch of style quizzes, which I had to fake the answers to because there is a big difference between my preferred boho, jeans-and-boots look and what is required for looking professional in the workplace. Also, I had to make a lot of mind-bending fashion choices between the downright ugly and the horrifyingly ugly. “Do you prefer this? Or this?” Well, I don’t know. Let me think about which one makes me want to stab my eyes out less. Seriously, since I’ve been away, what’s happened to fashion? I’ve never seen such eye-scalding patterns and general weirdness. I don’t want cropped pants with a big poofy bow in front. Why would you create pants that puff a woman out in front? Conversely, nor do I want to be crammed into a tight, high-rise pencil skirt that binds around my knees and restricts my movement. And I look like a lollipop-head on a stick in those boxy jackets with the big shoulder pads, so I have no idea what the bots are going to come up with for me. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

I watched a really bizarre movie this week called “Bliss.” It wasn’t a bad movie, but it’s been bothering me. It was one of those reality-bending, “which world is real and which is a simulation” type-plots, but it wouldn’t bloody pick a direction and give a clear answer, and that kind of non-committal writing drives me up a wall. God knows I have other things on my mind right now and I don’t know why I can’t let go of it, but it’s haunting me. What ultimately happened to the sexy research-scientist lady? Was this guy’s daughter real or an AI trick? He had the drawings of the house, he knew about the pool, so how could the better world have been the fake one? And what the hell is “asteroid mining?” I know all of this ruminating on an inconsequential movie is just hysterical replacement activity, but things have been very shaken up for me and I feel a deep need to know what exactly in this made-up movie was real and what was not. I cannot abide ambiguity any more.

Those of you who have suggested that I do Yoga will be happy to know that I did Yoga! My newest trainer is also a Yoga instructor and for last week’s session, I asked her to take me through a calming Yoga session rather than our usual weight-lifting stuff. And for the first time, I really enjoyed Yoga! It was quite calming, especially this one move we did at the end where you pretend to be a fish.

Speaking of fish, enjoy these bright colored fishies and the spa music. 

 

--Kristen McHenry