Personally, I’m a big fan of the apology. There seems to be this cultural myth that the person who apologizes loses face or somehow demeans themselves or gets irreversible points-off in the worthiness department. Apologies in this culture are hoarded like gold, and doled out with bean-counting grinchy-ness. By all means, if apologizing has become a mindless verbal tic for you, sure--work on that. But I apologize a lot, and I’m not sorry about it. I apologize to demonstrate empathy, humility and kindness, and to build a sense of comradery. It doesn’t hurt me personally to apologize. I don’t feel demeaned or lessened by it. And I don’t feel like it diminishes my status in the workplace. Granted, I work in a traditionally female-oriented “helping profession” where being relational is important, but even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t change my approach. According to a values survey I took for work this week, I’m a Cultivator. I don’t know exactly what that means, but it seems to have something to do with being a professional Nice Lady, which I don’t mind a bit. The world needs more of those, if you ask me.
Contradictorily, that same survey also analyzed me as being someone who doesn’t like rules. I was slightly miffed by that assessment at first. It made me feel misunderstood by their algorithm. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the value of rules—I do—I just don’t like having to follow arbitrary rules that prevent me from accomplishing my goals. Or that get in the way of me getting what I want. In other words: I don’t want to be a part of your system, man! The Lonely Island understands--see below video. (Warning: It gets a little dicey towards the end. Don’t watch if bawdy humor isn’t your thing.)