Battle Ropes, Naval Engagements, Tiger Punching

After I told my trainer I needed to back off a little bit on the heavy lifting, she created a body-weight lesson plan for me for last week’s session. And it involved battle ropes! Battle ropes! I was so excited. I hadn’t seen the battle ropes since COVID hit, and I discovered that they moved them to the now-defunct day care room in the back, so you can do them in private without being gawked at by everyone. I never used them before because I was intimidated by them, and also I did not wish to make a spectacle of myself in the heavily-trafficked front area where they previously had the ropes. She showed me how to do them correctly, then promptly transformed into a Marine drill Sargent as I was gasping for breath and my arms were about to fall off: “Push through it!! Push through the fatigue! Go, go, go, go!!!” It was a total blast. You use your whole body to stabilize yourself, including your abs and quads, so basically one session of battle ropes is a full-body workout. If that’s all I ever did at the gym, I would be in amazing shape. 

However, I was crushed when I was told couldn’t go back there and use them on my own—I had to have a trainer with me. It’s some weird, irrational COVID rule that I don’t understand. I had gotten hooked after one session only to find that they were not accessible to me during my regular gym runs. Knowing that the staff are lax disciplinarians, I figured I had a good chance of wheedling an exception out of them, so the next time I came in I asked the kid at the desk if could “just sneak back there and discreetly use them for a few minutes.” After a brief consultation with a more senior employee, he agreed to let me do it “just this once, because it’s not very busy in here right now.” So I got my one extra battle-rope session in. I don’t have the heart to ask again. I don’t want to be a pest and make things difficult for the nice folks at the gym. If I didn’t have downstairs neighbors, I’d install my own darn battle ropes in the living room.

At first Mr. Typist didn’t believe that they were called “battle ropes” and then wanted to know why they were called that. I theorized that perhaps ropes were used in sea battles, at which he fell out of his chair laughing. “Sea battles?” “Yes, sea battles. They needed lots of rope. For the sails and such.” He then sternly informed me there is no such thing as a sea battle, as they are called “naval engagements,” to which I responded that sounded like a meditation session wherein one stares at one’s belly button. The conversation pretty much fell apart after that.

After my successful execution of the bluebird punch-needle wall hanging over the holidays, I’m amped up about doing more, but I’m out of monk cloth and they don’t carry it in the craft stores anymore. I was planning to order some online, but then I came across a beautiful piece on my Facebook punch needle group that was done on denim. It never occurred to me to punch on denim. I have a fancy adjustable needle that I got a while back, so I know I can set it to be able to punch through denim, and I think I might try that. I also found a tiger pattern that I really like, so I’m thinking a tiger on denim will be my next project. I’m up for something punk rock like that.

Speaking of things artistic, Mr. Typist showed me this video this morning about how artists are using Minecraft. There is an astonishing sculpture depicted here that is truly a feat of design and determination. Cutting into mountain in Minecraft is a big project, but to do what this sculptor did is jaw-dropping. Watch and be amazed!

 

--Kristen McHenry