Before
sitting down to post today, I was struggling with how honest to be. I
don’t want to add to the alarm and panic, and I don’t want anyone
to feel that they should need to worry about me. But my work week
last week was one of the hardest I have ever been through. Almost all
of our volunteers have been furloughed or have left of their own
accord, and my job, which I loved and and was good at, has morphed
into something else entirely, and it doesn’t look like it’s going
to be coming back in any recognizable form any time soon. We are
under the Emergency Command structure at the hospital, and all hands
are on deck for dealing with the coming influx. There is a barrage of
COVID-19 information coming at me all day, every day, and we are in
constant reactive mode and working long hours. It’s extremely
draining. I am fighting hard not to sink into a depression. I miss
the familiar faces I’m used to seeing every day, and I miss the gym
with a huge lump in my throat. I had no idea how much of a mental and
emotional haven it had become for me, and not having it in my life
during this time of extreme stress has made everything that much
worse. I’m irritable and short-tempered, I’m drinking too much
coffee because I want to sleep all of the time if I don’t, and I
don’t have any appetite. I’m crying almost every day, and that’s
normally rare for me.
The
loss of the familiar is very real, and I am grieving. But I am
pushing myself to adjust to this new normal, to keep going and to be
strong because I love my community and I love my hospital, and I was
put here to serve—and serve I will do. This not the only time in
history that communities have gone through huge, reality-bending
changes in their daily lives, and I take inspiration in the toughness
of those who have gone before. Many have been through far worse
throughout history, and when we’re on the other side of this, I
will remain standing.
My
escapism these days is playing House Flipper and watching fitness
videos...both at the same time. I am a two-fisted escape artist.
After flipping every house in the game, I finally gave in and paid
fifteen bucks to downloaded the garden content. It’s surprisingly
good. I can now mow lawns, plant trees, create gardens and backyard
spaces, and even put in swimming pools. I have to admit at first I
was little stymied, since I don’t know anything about garden design
and I had do a lot of Google image searches to get ideas, but I’m
starting to get the hang of it. I love planting and watering trees
and creating rose gardens and putting in backyard picnic areas. It’s
a fun a little addition to tide me over until they get that
long-promised new content out. (Hurry up, developers!)
Speaking
of the afore-mentioned fitness
videos,
I recently
came
across the channel of a
totally charming young woman named
Michelle Khare, who
does lots of “extreme” physical challenges (“I Worked out Like
a Professional
Ballerina for Two Weeks!”), but she also has a series where she
does workouts from different eras, from the early 1920’s
all the way through the ‘90’s.
I was especially
delighted by
the
video
where she pulls out some VHS tapes from the ‘80’s aerobics craze
and
does
the workouts in
tow
with her hilarious friend.
The women in those ‘80’s
videos must have been living on
Tab
and amphetamines. I
have no idea how they
got so skinny. But
as silly as their style and approach seems now, truth be told they
were actually
doing
some legit hard moves. The
whole thing
made
me
miss the era
of colorful
workout leotards and head bands. Especially
head bands. Even
during my most
grueling sessions with Akida, my forehead never got sweaty, but
nonetheless, when I get back into the gym, I’m going to start
wearing head bands. Big, bright fluffy neon pink headbands. We’ll
all need a little color in our lives by that time.
It’s
a bit
longer than most videos I post, but I went ahead put up Michelle’s
full
‘80’s
workout video here. It’s a charming eleven minutes and
three seconds
of non-COVID related material. Enjoy!
--Kristen McHenry
6 comments:
Powerful, Kristen!
Really felt this during this crazy time. Thank you for this post.
Hey, thank you, thank you, thank you.
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