Working
at a hospital, I am up to my crown chakra in COVID-19 preparations.
Just like during the strike, most of my normal job functions have
gone out the window and I am on multiple conference calls and in
meetings
every
day
in preparation for the tsunami of ill patients who are headed our
way. It’s a grim time. I’ve furloughed all of our Information
Desk and Emergency Department volunteers for their safety and
protection, and it’s looking like I may end up having
to postpone
the annual Volunteer Appreciation party.
I was so exhausted after my work week on
Friday I
could barely manage a hot shower before collapsing on the couch and
falling asleep. I
absorb the emotions of those around me very easily, and taking in all
of the hyper-nervousness
and tension has sapped my energy.
Normally,
I would keep my anxiety and creeping depression at bay by going to
the gym and doing a lot of heavy lifting, but, to my deep sadness and
angst, I have had to put a stop to the gym for the time being. It was
a heartbreaking, tear-rendering decision, but in the end, I had to
conclude that
it
is
the most responsible thing to do right now. In the best of times,
gyms are the ninth circle of hell from an infection control
standpoint, and
we are at the epicenter of a pandemic. I
am at elevated risk because I work in a hospital, and there is a
real
potential for me to
become
infectious and not know it, thereby possibly infecting the elderly or
immuno-compromised
members of the gym, of
which there are a fair number.
I tried every justification in my head to avoid coming to this
conclusion (I'll be really careful! I’ll wash my hands after every
set!), but in the end,
I had to conclude that it is not a risk worth taking at this time. I
hate it, I really
hate it, and the second I can get back in there I will, but for now
I’m having to find alternatives.
I
ordered a weight bench and a
full-length mirror from Amazon and went to our local sporting store
to
pick
up some kettle bells and dumbbells to supplement what I already had
at home. The mirror hasn’t come yet, but the weight bench arrived a
few days ago, and I really like it. It’s a solid piece of equipment
and I’m able to do a lot on it. I’ve been doing weighted squats
using a mirror from our hallway, which isn’t ideal, but it at least
allows me to check to make sure my knees aren’t collapsing in. I’ve
been doing as much as I possibly can with barbells, kettle bells, and
body weight exercises. I’m getting a full hour in on
each workout
and feeling tired, sweaty and sore afterwards, so it’s doing
something. It’s not as good as the gym, but I’m trying to be
scrappy and creative and find ways to make it work and at least
maintain some of my progress. The
one bright point in all of this is that I don’t have to wrangle
myself into a
sports bra before
my workouts.
This is America, after
all,
and I’m at total
liberty to flop about freely in the
privacy of
my own dang
home.
The
other bright point is that
this
morning
I went to a beautiful park with my friend/coworker to do an outdoor
workout—something I would never normally do on my own. This woman
is
well over six feet tall and an athletic beast, and she kicked my ass
into next Sunday. For two hours, we did stair running, (the up-kind,
a total nightmare), push-ups on logs, overhead presses with
driftwood, and multiple squats, among other things. It’s all sort
of a blur, to be honest, and I’m
pretty sure I won’t be
able to walk in few hours. But it was a beautiful, overcast day and
the park was
full of trees and
ferns
and chirping birds, and families were out with their sweet little
children
and their grinning dogs and there
were many
sailboats on the water. It was very healing to be surrounded
with trees
and to
feel
my feet on the soil. I deepened my bond with my friend, learned some
new moves, and left feeling uplifted, which I was in
desperate need of after the week I’ve
had. It
was a good reminder that through all of this, the world goes on.
Nature continues to nature, Spring is beginning to push little
budding tongues of flowers through, and the sea keeps
rumbling
forth, oblivious
to our worries.
And
maybe
this temporary leave of absence from the gym will be good for me.
Maybe I have gotten a little too rigid and locked into a routine.
Maybe
it will be good to expand a little, to come to understand that there
are endless ways to move our bodies and be physical in the world, and that
I am
capable of
learning
many more of them without the security blanket of a gym and a
trainer.
Speaking
of the sea, enjoy this wonderfully overblown sea ballad by Billy
Joel. There is nothing I love in the world more than a good
old-fashioned over-blown sea ballad, so this one is right up my
alley.
--Kristen McHenry
4 comments:
Totally love this post, because I can relate. Came to the same conclusion this week about our local gym (germ petri dish). I think it's important to reflect and get creative, which you have done! Good luck in the coming weeks!
Great post, Kristen. I guess we all in our own special way have to become recluses for a while. Hopefully a short while it will only be. Meanwhile, I really enjoy the video. It's not one I've ever seen before, and I'm definitely a Billy Joel fan!
Patrick
Nice to make your acquaintance, Kristen - look forward to your posts to come! (ps - I'm a "fast typist", but not a "good" one!)
Doug
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