To be honest, I wasn’t really that excited about
today’s eclipse. I was sick of all the media hype and all of those self-congratulatory
“spiritual” think pieces and the manufactured shortages of viewing glasses. I
tend to shut down when mass events like this are shoved at me relentlessly. As
far as I was concerned, today was just another ho-hum Monday. I didn’t expect
or even want a spiritual experience, and wasn’t even going to leave my office
to look up. But everyone at work was all a-twitter about it, and I helped my Information
Desk volunteers get onto the computer so that they could watch the live feed on
NASA, and around 10:00 a.m., the sky outside my window grew wonderfully,
strangely dark. I ran out to tell my volunteers about it, and they came in and
oh’ed and ah’ed appropriately. Then a hard, black shadow stretched out all
across the entrance of the hospital, and the temperature dropped noticeably.
Everyone was gathered at windows, on the roof, or outside, not getting a lick
of work done. I went outside where a small group had gathered, and one of our
engineers pointed to a mosaic of odd, half-moon shaped shadows on the
sidewalk, and lent me a viewing glass. When I saw the eclipse, I teared up. I
don’t know if “awe” is the right word, but I felt like I was witnessing something
astonishing and enormous and miraculous. (I guess that qualifies as awe.) I felt
like I was in another world, standing before a primal, ancient power that has
existed for spans of time I can’t even fathom. For a second, my heart, which
has been clenched with anger and grief for months, expanded to contain the
moment.
Buddy, however, was having none of it. According
to eyewitness reports, he walked out onto the deck, took one look at what was going
on, and immediately dropped to his belly and slunk back inside to hide on the
couch. That cat is no fool.
This is a short (and late) post today. But I
will leave with you two items to ponder:
1. Last night I had a dream
that I was in a literal back alley with Martin Shkreli and a shady group of
people who were involved in an illegal betting ring involving “futures.” There
was some sort of complicated kickback scheme being discussed, and I stood to
make a cool 800 bucks off the deal. I put in my bet, but immediately regretted
it out of fear of being caught and arrested. Dream interpreters, have a field
day!
2. I’m no Thich Nhat Hanh, (come
on, I just made an illegal bet on futures), but I’ll say it anyway: Our wounds
are not our identity. We could use a little more looking within right now and a
little less looking outside of ourselves for the conditions we want to see in
the world. Anger is a necessary catalyst for change, but it’s also addictive
and it can easily short out our brains and less make us less able to think and
act rationally. Just sayin’. Now, excuse me, I have to go collect my 800 bucks
from Dream Martin.
--Kristen
McHenry
1 comment:
Kristen, I love your comments about the eclipse. Here in Maine, darkness was hardly noticeable; just gray cloud thrown across the sun for a few minutes. Since I did not have proper glasses, I did not go outside to watch. Also, I like your comment "our wounds do not define us or who we are." Very true! God bless and keep writing!
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