Yesterday, I struggled through about the thirtieth draft of my essay for the grant. The problem is that there is no possible way to write an essay about “how your work exhibits excellence in storytelling” without sounding like a pretentious gasbag. In this latest incarnation, I’m taking the earnest, heartfelt approach, and it still somehow manages to sound stilted and arrogant. But I’m not ready to admit defeat yet. I’ll be damned if some silly 350-word essay comes between me and 10,000 clams.
In gaming news, I finally broke up with "The Secret World" for good. My on-again, off-again affair with this game is like, totally over--for reals this time. There is so much about it that I love (conspiracy theories, elaborate storylines, the clothes), but it was frustratingly crash-prone, and most of the players are European, so none of my guild mates were ever around when I was on. So, we’re done. I wish it well, and I’ll always have the memories. I’m back to playing the latest incarnation of “Neverwinter”, which is like video game crack—scientifically designed to stimulate the reward centers of your brain in such a way that you stay up until one in the morning so you can invoke the goddess just one more time and get more shiny blue diamonds.
I met with a good friend of mine this week who read my novel and offered to copy-edit it! I’m really excited about this, since copy editing is not my thing and I’ve been dreading that part of the process. I’m also excited because she liked the book, and she’s someone whose opinion I respect immensely. My goal is to get the book in front of an agent before the end of the year, and that seems like a distant but real possibility now. If I can get this thing published, I’ll have achieved a major writing and life goal. It’s a dream I hang onto when it’s hard to keep soldiering on. In the meantime, I’ve been playing around with some flash-fiction pieces, and thinking about ideas for my next big project. I have a feeling it will involve my anachronistic cowboy.
I’m wrapping this up early because I am off to buy shoes. I bought shoes last week, but they didn’t work out. My problem is that I have both a low frustration tolerance and an irrational faith in the idea that shoes will “stretch”. After trying on nine pairs at Big 5 Sports last weekend, I finally gave in and settled on a pair which I knew in my heart were too tight. But I was tired of trying on shoes, so I just convinced myself that if I bought them, they would somehow magically transform into the right shoes, through the sheer power of being chosen, or something. Well, all they did was give me blisters and almost make me trip again, and avoiding tripping is the whole reason I bought them in the first place. So they are going to the Goodwill, and I'm going to try to be a grown up and sustain the patience needed to buy a decent pair of well-fitting shoes. Wish me luck!