Yesterday
I went mad with self-disgust and decided it was finally time to do something
about my outgrown, scraggly hair and shaggy brows, so I nipped off to the
nearest salon for a haircut and wax. After several losing bouts trying to
maintain a pixie cut, I’ve kept my hair shoulder-length for the past few years,
indifferently tying it back in a ponytail or a clip and letting the rest fall
where it may. The result was both boring and unflattering, but I haven’t cared enough
to do anything about it.
Part of my
reluctance to act is that I never know what I want to do with my hair when I go
to get it cut. The dialogue with the stylist becomes a weird power struggle, with
them trying to get me to commit to something--anything, and me trying to get them to take total control over the
situation and chop my hair into a perfect, magical, alluring, yet low-maintenance
cut. They seem to have the idea that I should have input. I don’t want to have
input. I just want to plop down into the chair and let them figure out what do.
What do I know from hair? They’re the professionals. Why are they asking me all
of these questions?
I found
myself in the midst of the same power-struggle with my stylist yesterday,
until we both finally realized what I was wanted was her cut. It was adorable, but it was…short. Much shorter than I
thought I wanted. Since I’ve stopped with the pixie cuts, I’ve become attached
to long hair, because frankly, the social cost of keeping a short cut as a
woman in this society is just too tiresome. When I had the pixies, men in the
streets would literally call me a lesbian (or, once, memorably—“a red-headed man-hating dyke bitch”), and female co-workers would say things like “You’re so feminine, it’s too bad your hair doesn’t
reflect the real you”. When I had long hair and I mentioned casually I was
getting it cut, people I didn’t even know very well would immediately say, “but
not too short, right?” I’ve never
understood this desperate attachment to long hair on women. It’s completely
senseless. Long hair does not look good on every female. Sometimes, length does nothing to flatter to our faces and we’re better off without
it. And I have seen plenty of very feminine women who look stunning with short
hair. Look at what it did to bring out the beautiful bone structure of Charlize
Theron.
The
problem as I see it is threefold: We have made “long hair” synonymous with “feminine”,
men resent women with short hair because they perceive us as being more
interested in pleasing ourselves than pleasing them, and no one really sees
anyone as a whole person, only as individual body parts. So the fact that a
shorter cut is much more flattering to some woman’s faces than a lot of
superfluous length is lost on most people. But this red-headed dyke bitch likes
her new short cut and doesn’t care what the idiots think.
Speaking
of femininity, it’s the Winter Games and ice skating is on! When I was a kid, I
loved watching the ice skating, and I thought there was nothing more perfectly
girly in the world than the beautiful lady skaters in their sparkly spandex,
spinning around and emoting all of their delicate lady-feelings through their
painted eyes. But what I really loved was the pairs skating. I realized
yesterday while watching the pairs competition that my early ideas about
romantic relationships were sadly misinformed by my rapt viewing of pairs
skating as a child. (Of course I assumed that all of the pairs couples were
married or at least romantically involved.) Pairs skating taught me that
relationships were accompanied by grand, romantic music, that love would make
you automatically beautiful and graceful, that you would be in perfect sync
with your partner at all times, and dressing up in sparkling outfits would be
the norm. Frankly, I feel totally cheated. It turns out marriage is nothing like that. I’d love to see a
pairs routine that centered around snapping at your spouse for forgetting the
decaf and tripping over them because they can’t watch where the hell they’re
going. Then little girls like me wouldn’t grow up with unrealistic
expectations.
--Kristen McHenry
1 comment:
Nicely written!
Post a Comment