(Warning: Every spoiler possible.) Everyone in the entire world is spouting their crackpot
internet theories on how Breaking Bad will end on Sunday night, but no one has asked me for my opinion.
Mr. Typist won’t let me tell him my ideas because he wants his oh-so-precious brain
to remain pure of conjecture. I don’t have anyone to talk to, so you, my eleven
readers, are it. I am the one who theorizes!
1. Lydia rebuffs Psycho
Todd’s advances one too many times, so he cheerfully murders her and “disappears”
her body in an acid vat.
2. Skinny Pete gets signed as the keyboard player for a major third-wave ska band, and Badger becomes their dealer.
3. It turns out that Mike Ehrmantraut faked his
own death! He breaks into the neo-Nazi compound, single-handedly murders Jack and Jack's entire gang, then rescues Jesse.
4. Jesse and Mike team up
to go after Walt.
5. Walt manages to escape
their trap as he hunts down Grey Matter’s Gretchen and Elliot.
6. Marie gets wind of Walt’s
intentions and alerts Gretchen and Elliot to Walt’s plan to murder them.
7. Walt still manages to
take out Gretchen, Elliot and a good portion of Grey Matter’s headquarters
with the clever use of magnets.
8. Marie gets ahold of the
ricin and swaps it out with Splenda.
9. Walt tries to poison
Walt Jr. in an attempt to exact revenge on Skyler, but instead gives Walt Jr.
the Splenda.
10. Marie invites Walt over
for a heart-to-heart, tells him she forgives him for murdering Hank, and gives
him a ricin-laced cup of tea.
11. Walt dies a horrible, painful
death on Marie’s purple shag carpet while she gloats at him in pure, vengeful
glee.
12. Ted never recovers from
paralysis and convinces Skyler to help him commit suicide.
13. Jesse has Saul’s vacuum
cleaner guy set him up with a new identity. He moves to Colorado, goes back to
school, and becomes a children’s trauma counselor.
14. Marie adopts Brock,
quits her job at the hospital, and gets her real estate license so she can steal
things from her client’s houses.
15. Todd dies when his
freckled, farm-boy face gets bitten by the tarantula that Drew Sharp trapped in
the Mason jar.
16. Saul finally gets promoted to
management at Cinnabon.
17. Walter Jr. uses his
share of the meth money to open a 24-hour breakfast diner, and hires Skyler as
their bookkeeper. Pancakes, bitch!
--Kristen McHenry
2 comments:
I think the ending is obvious. Lady Catherine confronts Elizabeth. Word gets back to Mr. Darcy who proposes to Elizabeth once more. This time, she accepts him.
I haven't had the time to sit down with your document, but it is in safe hands. I've been really tired this last couple of weeks.
Also, I have a pet: Fred the Chicken
She's great!
Oh, good! I am glad you have not lost track of my Precious!! I am still very interested to hear your thoughts when you get a chance to delve into it.
Fred the Chicken is adorable, if a little on the svelte side. Well you know what they say in the chicken world--you can never be too rich or too thin!
Post a Comment